Wednesday, November 28, 2012

atomic mood ; how I felt this week
it’s the time of year
age & fear
the darkest days 
& the darkest  ways

Weakness brings ends
Nature disease and death sends
If we focus on the dark
Its eats us like a shark


 When betrayal  becomes expected
And insult becomes the norm
Make yourself tall
Make a positive form

Its easy to join the herd
And act like a t*rd (!)
Be an example for any kid
Accept consequence for what you did..

My pain and anger I must  contain
Turn it into gain
If people forget ,  and make me sad
My energy  must use that bad …

….and turn this end into a beginning!   dont give up...*LINK,,,
ChRiS 25th Nov.  2012 26 days ..until….

Miss Harvey?...are u Crazy, just like me?

 Suppose u are now safely back in your family home! I still wish u well

-      Am sorry my pain became anger & sorry u don’t understand! Cuvaj se, molim, take CARE, ChRiS

 the only man I "trust" here, to talk to ..his father is dying, so I cant ..share with anyone...

Dark Dan(i) Ca 's Bright Stars..of Hope..appear 

("danas" = days in local speak)

Hope over experience as another woman lets me down, I see new opportunities for improvement of this World (see Events ; May; OUR Club & Rebellion)

I don't identify myself as a "Tiger", but whilst I criticise the sheep for following too easily the "establishment" or today the "media" which they let control them, I am also thankful, because ppl  acting like sheep enabled me to be different by taking chances , going many places & meeting lots of ppl, and having "risky" experiences that they didnt.

 ....  :Dmost ppl are happy to live in a "matrix" illusion, because the truth "hurts" ....Dobar Dan i Ca (va?) ... be happy and honest with yourself.. and true to your soul, "crazy soul-mate" :) i wish you well, to understand me, and yourself one day! soon... take CARE (because you have been "careless")Gnarls Barkley - Crazy LYRICS 
Note to Vera, your sister is (not) my “biggest fan” ... (that is Brits Humour! ) I lost contact with your "Ms Harvey"  again/

....last time, she said she was coming home to your family home  .please kindly pass this message to her..if its not too much trouble for you

...... and tell her I hope she understands me... & herself too , one day...
Dobar Dan i Ca,A poem (!?

"Sitting in the sun….."

Think what you have done
I knew you were the one.
But today’ s girls “just wanna have fun”
YOU can be & make good
& we both know you should
Use your talents to make it so
Will you go?  

(will you ever know...what you lost?)
I got drunk, and killed my memory during an unexpected night out with the lads saturday night (Fab & Dave...sounds like a singing duo?<smile>) 

it helped to forget for a little while.. 

adding some stuff to... 
do  u want to shut me out.? ..on sunday and i didnt want to feel like this,,, i wish .....well I wrote too much...the last message in drunken anger with everyone including yoU..this night, went out and got drunk ..but i would NEVER dis respect the people, thatb i care about..WHY did U DIS R E S P E C T me? u do not CARE! and that is why u will burn in hell! (if u dont care) u cannot escape KARMA! ( many )ppl here are racist, fascist, and bigots, prove to me that YOU deserve MY RESPECT?>?????f**k (FB) admin too!

i just sometimes want to show someone whats inside of me at this time.....(atomic mood)

(updated & mixed ..) "The Journey of the HONEST man is attacked  on all sides by the injustice of the selfish women and the tyranny of evil men.

Lucky is he who in the name of charity and goodwill guides the weak through the world of  darkness, for he is truly his brother's supporter  and rescuer of lost children."

……"and you shall KNOW MY NAME…..when….

"Man of a poisoned wife, father of stolen children, I shall , in this life or the next"..."I shall have my Vengance"... Gladiator

"The Journey of the HONEST man is attcked  on all sides by the injustice of the selfish women and the tyranny of evil men.

Lucky is he who in the name of charity and goodwill guides the weak through the world of  darkness, for he is truly his brother's supporter  and rescuer of lost children."

……and you shall KNOW MY NAME…..when….

I shall have my Vengance... Man of a poisoned wife, father of stolen children, I shall , in this life or the next...  Crazy ..Gnarls Barclay  ; with lyrics ;)


...yankers,  fannies &  idiots let a Great man go to Chelski, and its OUR loss, typical of a perverse society... 
LOVE Rafa! some (failed) "pundits & tv experts" point to "failures" like Keane & Aquilani (who in fact was dumped, shortly after getting his form back, by Hodgson, who prefered Poulsen!) 

Rafa brought us class players ; 

Alonso & Arbeloa (both @ Real Madrid) Torres (fastest ever Lfc player to score 50 goals) 

Agger (Capt. of denmark) Skrtel (slovakian player of Year & fans player of the year) & Lucas, last season's Lfc player of the year

..signed  Mascherano,(redundant @ w.ham & now a regular @ Barca) plus Glen Johnson & Pepe Reina...
Rafa & Montse, a nice guy & A great manager
 ...& brought many of the young players in to the academy & brought back Kenny to the club... 

no TRUE RED could deny Rafa's value... but neither F S G or "buck" consulted him.. 

a MASSIVE insult to Rafa and so many of OUR SUPPORTERSwho love him!!!

  Opinions F-way. We Come Not To Pay ··         IF F S G WERE WISE... THEY WOULD HAVE GONE FOR HIM
 is not a word that I would use in the same sentence as Henry & Werner.
Greg>.wise? they didnt go for him as they knew he wouldnt take their shit with his experience? imagine Rafa being told he couldbt be funded 5 or 6 million for Clint Dempsey? gk
ChriS SmiTH> this comment is 2 years too late, henry as with hicks dont want anyone who (Rafa or Kenny) who have a strong will & wont sell their soul for a fat pay cheque...! we have to fight to get our club back from yankers & fickle "fannies"
stay away from that "my team" nonsense frim the media, u surely dont change players for the sake of your ego, do U? "Buck".
SEAN>Fans are being fooled left right and centre by Fenway and their PR stunts. They use the FIFA financial Fair Play policy to hide behind their Bullshit. Balancing the books me arse. (Seanoc)
F-way. We Come Not To Pay · ·         Talk of the KOP ; For all those who have there hopes high regarding January, BR has said that the Club is looking to balance the books this year and that means not more than a couple of 'decent' signings, by that I mean No Cavani,Erikson etc.
FSG are waiting for the New TV rights deal to kick in which will make the prices Go up from 2.3 Million pounds a match to 6.5 pounds.
I hate it too guys, but by the looks of it looks like the Frustration of the season has just begun
ChriS SmiTH then do something , stop moaning and join the boycott, no more official shop sales, buy rebellion t-shirts and stand up against FSG... its easy to complain and do nothing!
YES , i'm referring to YOU on the left, & Karma WILL get U

zDravo, “Ms Harvey” 
and a woman who "Cares" too..

every pic tells a story?
I  will try to explain CAREfully , because of your language limitations and your lack of time (!)

YOU  made a “casual” comment that you find it “strange” that i dont have a friend that in MNE that I can share my most intimate PAIN with...

I told U I have been “moving” since 16, all those people close to me died or were stolen (one of the reasons for my pain next week, on the 28th) jacqui (who was my only “friend” for 12 years , buried on my birthday 23 may 2006 , would be having her birthday on 1st December.....

YOU KNOW Balkan people have problems with people who are different, even from next street or village.. (I think in nearly 3 years I saw less than 5 black people in the whole of ex yugo.!)  ...
And they dont CARE about the problems of other people (you saw this when visiting “homeless” in Bg!

So why ask me a stupid question?????  Because YOU dont want to “Care “ about me ? so you look for an excuse? say I am strange..when YOU are also “Strange” ???

Why  do i call you “Ms Harvey” ?  because YOU  were my “invisible guest” for the THREE days I booked YOU in prizren CS meeting....but you were visible that SaturDAY, when I met your SOUL  during that good time, and your soul connected with me , but your head got drunk and diverted by stupid  & careless people (who i never met before!)

What is a “friend”?   in MY CULTURE it is not just someone to drink & have FUN with (I know “girls just wanna have fun”) 's someone who I CARE about (you) & who CARES  for me too...(a soul-mate)

I invited you to share , my secrets, the positive project  and  IF YOU WANT to be MY “friend”  (better to identify you as “Soul – Mate “ because that word is too badly used for casual contacts)

....then  share my pain too, its up to you..come only if you FEEL it! Because ...I AM your soul-mate, Even if you realise it TOO late! ChriS
p.s. Those blogs did not mention your name, but u react without even taking time to read them properly>?

I want to mention also the unusual ......"Triin P" a Girl who seems to have sensitivity, who stayed with me  in summer , trusted me and in return will always be welcome to be in my life again, she is strong in a subtle way, thoughtful, and took time to write to me recently about this difficult time of my life...
Triin>   Chris, add me 

CS> "snowhite" is obviously a mass-debater,
its not that difficult to hate her ;);)
Causing confusion in Pg, lost notebook, phone and my atm card..
ooooh, she makes it hard! :):)
(warning! :- she eats a lot, but isnt that "hot" !)
in a couple of days can wreck yr head!
but she didnt (yet) wreck my bed!
but also saw that she can "care"
and that today, is (again) so rare..
NOT an angel from above..
but someone I could love
in a woody-hemming-WAY,
should not really say..
she's a sort of evil, "have a nice day"
(p.s. this is neutral, until U return to correct it...! ha ha ha...)

Triin>When I was on my way to Albania, a driver kept insisting.. be careful, be careful. I mentioned Kosovo. His reply was.. FORGET Kosovo. Maybe he was paranoid. I'm going to head out now. Bye Chrissy
CS> Just because..someone else has to know me.....
Triin> Chris..In fact, when I was in Greece, a friend offered to come and pick me up in Albania and drive with me to Croatia, we had a nice journey. So I passed Montenegro.. unfortunately not Podgorcia. I kept thinking of you when I passed by Kotor. I want to see you. I feel happy, but also confused. As if I'm lost. I'd like to speak with you again, to share.. whatever. We will.I am in Croatia right now.I feel like I have a lot to learn from you :):)So I need to see you again, whenever,
<snip> in, at times I also feel these feelings but I try to distract them. Which isn't a smart solution, because you can distract them only for so long. We were born to live, yet the more I grow the more it seems we're doing the opposite of it, life is still beautiful and I find a lot of colors in it but it's life, and life is tough, it can be painful, we're doing our best to survive.
And after knowing you for that short while, I hope I was correct, I felt you were sort of innocent, in a way that I can't see you doing harm to a person. Surely you don't deserve the awful events that you've been put through. You're a strong, gentle man, and if I were there I'd stay with you during this hard time, speak with you, whatever, wherever.. just the presence of another person can ease pain I believe. Beautiful writing, too..   
Jacqui is on the right of the picture...R.I. P.
CS>Triin , Triin, my lost girl, let me find u...or come and find me .. be happy and honest with yourself. firstly , please know that I really appreciate your message, i dont want u to be sorry for me..but i hope that we understand each other..
and for me ..that is the most important thing I can obtain right now..because i dont want to share with just "anyone")
:)   its a dark tiime for me too..i feel strong, but emotive.. my 11 year old, has birthday on 28th november and i dont know where her mother took her.. and my deceased wife Jacqui who was such a beautiful person inside & out, and my only friend in my adult life (was buried on my birthday in 2006) would have her birthday on 1st I am missing my "girls" .. no one to hug...i have to much to give,, so I plan rebellion instead.. 
in some ways we are SO different, yet similar, we have both young & old being inside us... and all of us have dark sides too .. I did wrong things when I was younger, not with intent but i was careless, and i suppose karma took its revenge, and i also look for the positive , losing all those who were close to me made place for me to care for "strangers" (you?) ..
and i do care ...I think often "how is Triin" (another "lost child")

Noela the week before the ambush & abduction
...yes it would be easier if u were here, but U are not, so (as i wrote in the "poem") I have to find energy to turn the pain into something good, force myself into positive action, so I will , I believe that sharing is good, but there is no one around ...i will deal with it as I have done so many times.. this time is a particularly "weird coincidence of birthdays", Noela 28th Nov. Jacqui 1st december & my son Adam, who died a long time ago.. december 16th" I HAVE to do things and I hate to be quiet at this time,,,

 so i plan to travel , pity I wont see you before, but U know, in that short time, you touched my soul.. YOU will never walk alone :)
and I want u to feel U can trust me with your feelings too..
take CARE x
p.s we dont "get what we deserve" ..but sometimes we get what we need ...
Tanja B> a bit dark but encouraging .. very nicely it!!! you are so special
its a dark time of the year,Jacqueline, i have been very angry lately.. and its a time of the year that hurts me,, I am sharing this "poem" with u, I wrote it just after reading your Fb note about your loss.. it came to me within minutes.. a local man i sort of know, and trust..has his own "load" as his father is dying in hospital as i write, and he cant do anything, so I cant discuss my own pain..

next wednesday (28th November) will be  the 11th birthday of my little girl, Noela, who was stolen from me 8 years ago..i dont know where her mother has taken her... and next saturday would have been the birthday of "My Jacqui", with whom i was married & a friend more than 12 years, and who was buried on my birthday in 2006.. someone new let me down recently ... and its taken its toll.. i am strong to move on... but right now, this moment,,,I want to share this... 

G xmaS  host?
[19:41:16] Chris Smith: adios (whats bye bye in Lithuanian?)
[19:41:50] GI-to-wonderland: iki!

[19:41:58] Chris Smith: dont forget the dancing..thats a NEED of mine, we have to go dancing, iki!
GI-to-wonderland[19:41:58] GI-to-wonderland: and montenergian ?

[19:48:56] Chris Smith: ciao!  (like the italian)
[19:49:30] Chris Smith: monteneGRIN :D
[19:50:05] GI-to-wonderland: (wave)
[19:50:31] Chris Smith: x : laku noc (goodnight)
[19:51:15] Chris Smith: (sun) : sunny girl!

Although most member requests I get are genuine , I have had too many "bogus" contacts this year, this One "Charlotta" (penned under the name "VIKINGC" from New York, USA (Age: 40: FemaleGrew up in: Denmark  )I dont honestly think she is a member, and probably isnt  a true "CSer" and just another time waster?It took 18 days to inform me , and although registered over 3 years,she dont have ONE single reference,,“strange”….”, be careful with this dubious lady! :)
(in assoc. with
Monty - Logic (net) provides you with FUN and freedom to explore for just a few euros...

We have agreed with friendly club members in The Balkans - centred in Montenegro ("Monty" )

to provide

- "House-Telling" .... Family houses and surrounding land converted to friendly accomodation @ several locations

- for economy travellers & "back packers", Couch-surfers or other CSers simply in Transit and who want a comfortable and friendly environment, apartment, dorm, or to share as a group...

- advices on hiking routes, nature experiences,

- or to enjoy the mountains, lakes, beaches,

- additional economy tours, transfers, rafting, swimming or sailing..

- alone, with company, or in groups

- alternative choices; B nd B; or join evening grill parties

- stay on your own, or with a travel partner, or mix with an international membership

- information on Cultural events; Concerts and other good stuff from our website

join our club or book early by email is recommneded to obtain the best choices

make friends and have.. a LOT of fun...
of course "not for profit" as far as the club is concerned, we will invite members to particpate.. need to add that camping facilities are available too)


share my links 
 ChRiS 25th Nov.  2012 

26 days ..until….the world ...changes!

Testing reaction from members @

  this is ONLY a blog
...for "testing" until we get the proper website running 
Stevie lucky with HIS girls i mentioned on the club facebook page.. ( CS & LIVE r BIRD footy CLUB )  Beware of sexy girls ..with balls! :)
Irish REdS Meetings in Clonakilty
The World is y-OURS = SHARE IT!!!


my estranged daughter , Noela will be 11 tomorrow, (28th) she was brutally abducted during an ambush near OUR home 8 years ago by her mothers fascist family henchmen, I have no idea where she is, and what is so hard about this "open wound" is that i read such hatred & bigotry and fear the "negative education" that system teaches y-our children

... I read just now someone repeating the Enoch Powell bigotry that we laughed at decades ago... (a 2nd rate Adolf) .. europeans took the best resources, land and minerals from all over the world , by force, and now complain about immigrants

my response now as then..

... hmmmm yeah Enoch reminded me then of another guy with a moustache who spouted this sort of sh*te,

 ..enjoy the world instead of being little englanders!

Hmmm Adolf also had a very big book to "justify purification of society"

... problem is that ppl have also adopted the worst of the "american dream" and are obsessed with the nightmare ; commercialism & "fast food living" instead of enjoying local & global culture in a positive way.

.. guns & bombs & WMD are not the inventions of "immigrants" if an intelligent species looked at this planet they would laugh at (y)our obsession with walls fences & "national identity"

... :) go polish yr jackboots!

Leon Dole > Most of Britain was built by immigrants. Look at all major cities in the UK and you'll find immigration identity stamped all over it. Powell is a racist, however, the sheeple follow this kind of shite as they only see what's not actually there? Resession and tough times bring out the worst in human nature. Get ready for riots in the UK, it's not immigration that cuts benefits, hospitals, schools, factories, colleries, police force, armed forces, council finances. Wake up folks the Tories are back and they will blame every man and his dog for lowering your 'British' life style. However, at the root of it all is your multi-millionaire Government shafting you. Then blaming the most vulnerable in society, thus having the British people turn on itself. Wake up to a new political sytle in the UK. The rich making themselves richer, blaming the poor and in turn the worker blaming the poor. Whilst being robbered blind by the rich. Sorry not a new style, just a newer Government.

28th November = Noela ‘s 11th Birthday

“To my stolen child”

I don’t know where you are
Probably you are far

You will always be in my heart
Even though 8 years we have been apart

Your mother I try not to hate
But The gender that caused this “fate”

they seem to be so selfish
I only have, for you, one wish;

When you are grown ,
Please Don’t follow that creed
Be a GOOD woman…
 in thought & IN Deed

Your Dad xxxxx


 ·         for the kids too. FREE Training & LIfe coaching ; 

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