CSerS 2018 NOVEMBER ..Unsweet?

"2 near misses, 2 mums 
& Noela 17 

... plus "NO gay paree"?










I used to use this Log as a hosting blog for visitors, when "couch surfing" was true,
prior to commercial pollution by USAcorp...

I once made a group of pictures titles "sweet November" ...
(there was a film starring .... well watch the film..it has a bitter / sweet ending)

I could call this article / story of my life " UNsweet November' or " 2 near MISSes, 2 mums & Noela 17" ..plus...

anyway, I decided to use this facility to make a personal reflection on the last month, and apart from a few days earlier this week the weather was golden, mostly sunny, and the early days around 25c or 70f ... depending on your religion :)

Both the "AntiChRiS"  and "Now2balien" blogs are at a stage i dont feel i want to add the the latest/last input... so...



where to start.. ok lets go with alphabetical..

A... initials only ;  AL ... a young single mum, who was very communicative (unusual) whilst working at "Hunters caffe" in the newish (city *Qvart) area of this place, quite near to my homebase..  eventually we had a coffee meet at another (my usual) cafe in the old town (Stari Grad) and I met her 6 years old son, who she told, has somethign like throat cancer, and due to tha lack of local clinic .. must take him to Belgrade, because the clinic here has limited mdicial facilities for kids with such problems..

It also turned that she claimed to be anti-establishment and had protested against the situation here, not only because of her son. She told me that she must take him to meet a special Danish doctor who specialises in these aspects for young children..

AL 's Son, Lazar on happier days

She left that job, and works also at a sort of large flea market on the way to Tuzi..as much as possible.. I organised a "Celts new year/all hallows"(Halloween) party at the "Berlin" cafe-pub in the old town... and designed some t-shirts (30 which i sponsored on behalf of my self and my campaign / initiative " K.i.T = Kids in trouble ..on face book etc etc - although neither she , nor her friends or anyone who could and SHOULD have attended camne to the promo party, so it didnt really matter much when bandleader "Wolfie" forgot to introduce me to make a "promotional statement" in the early hours of Nov.1st... as the bulk of the people left during the pause in the live music...  short attention span?  or easily distracted...or simply careless////... 

a Beautiful country , i mean like heaven to live in, seems to get filled with ugly characters- and i mean spoil brat & Neanderthal mentalities for the men and spoilt brat barbies for many of the fee-males.. (and older ones just seem to be looking for "revenge"

Recently I offered my personal support and well, i got a panic call, that  AL must take her son to Belgrade, again, and she claimed that the ministry wont help kids over 5 - and her usual helpers are unable to lend her any money, so I gave her a loan of 200e from my pocket...with albeit post-conditions to replay by helping the initative & connect with our NGO (F & U Mission)

she told me she has to work 2 jobs to pay off other people..so i am not holding my breath for her compliance to our informal agreement for this... its a familiar story and i try not to be cynical...

D  = .. DB 

i got into some mailing contact through some international group that meets here once a month, most are very BORING narrow minded snobs, and I was trying to find iof she was ..also...and also eventually went to her district for a coffee as she told me she has twin boys and dont like to stray far, from the house, so, with some luck , and the usual poor directions I found the "sicilia 6" caffe... and she arrived, I gave her a campaign/KiT promo t-shirt and had a brief chat and met one of her twin sons... who plays football. ...always a subject I will connect strongly with..

Kids here, as in many countries now, are lucky to have so many small clubs & "soccer schools" to join, and her boys (also , as with AL, minus male parent, apparently) attended such a thing.. 
so I was pleased and impressed to join them in a club game in a district not too far from my homebase here, One boy is a goalkeeper, the other a struggling outfield player.. I gave DB some casual tips for the boys..

OH how i was tempted to say more and take the whole club over, but local people , especially football coaching staff, HATE to have "outsiders" influence their controls and teachings..
so I told DB , I wont interfere, and truly I believe kids under 10 should should just have fun, playing,., I would prefer to "manage" groups of the ages between 10-15 years old as by then they have some technique and they are still young enough to learn teamwork... adults could learn too, but they certainly dont listen...

I appreciated the enthusiasm of DB who took her 2 boys to the games, but when she seemed concerned that a boy had played TWO hours in one day.. (tired?) ..I laughed and said , "when i was that age, I would leave my house after breakfast" and only come back from playing football in the nearby field with nighbourhood kids, when it was too dark to see the ball! ha ha ha..

no child of that age should be tired from play,  I used to get angry when I saw parents bining the 15/16 year old boys of my youth team, or even coming by taxi from a few streets away..

Spoilt... and makes managing them so hard, when the parents make them so spoiled...
I visited her boys training this morning, as I continued my "marathon training" (their school s about 6/7 kms form my homebase) but i just wanted get a glimpse of the situation without interference, although windy, it was a sunny morning and the fresh air & running helps to clear/clean my mind of other peoples sh&te...



E = Ek... 

One Sunday evening late in October I was alone in my "regular" (Berlin) cafe..(local caffe) 
in the old town, early evening, a youngish woman came in and sat down, 
clearly not a local, by her manner, and looked, more slavic than most.. I was thinking about going home, but on the off-chance that I could enjoy some company, I said "hello do want to stay alone" - i think she mis-understood, but anyway I sat on the next table..

Close enough to continue, most women now, will make it quite clear, either by insult or by burying their face in their mobile phone , if they want to talk or not.. 

..we talked, I bought a couple of rounds, and propose a dinner the next saturday, she is from St Petersberg, (she says) and i got the impression relatively new in town and temporarily working for a company on some financial activity..i wasnt caring about that, I dont talk business with people in a social scene, and I dont do business, anyway...

She seemed quite keen on the idea of dinner... so I made a point of being early at the caffe ( there are various restaurant alternatives nearby ) for the agreed 20h appointment time..
I dont use a mobile, any more, apart from its unreliability, I dont feel the need to be a slave to such technology, especially as I contributed to the stuff in its early days, when i was still optimistic it would (it COULD) improve society... rather than the modern addiction nearly every one craves... 

Time went past, and I got email contact, and she apologized that she had to attend a weekend seminar for her job, and by the time it was over it was late and she didnt come to the appointment as she was tired.. ok...as one of the many excuses I have heard , it seemed plausible, I "filed it"  ..and thought, "pity//never mind" ..and proceeded to focus on the campaign/initiatves and the 31 october November 1 party event. at the caffe..

Vuk (wolfie) and the boys in the band arrived, I was already there on the afternoon and put out some promo flyers on the tables...and just prior to the "Gig"  ..EK walked in ..and came to me . again apologised for the failed "dinner date" ..I told her she was my guest, we had quite a good evening, including a tequila shot, and a couple of dances which always puts me in a Good mood..so I said, "ok well last time it failed, but now you have email contact..how about dinner NEXT Saturday"?  YES she replied without hesitating..met you here at 20h saturday... she left around midnight as she said she was working in the office in the morning...

The Next saturday...no show...and this time she claimed that she was sick, just before the "appointment time"  ...but i had stayed online until 20h ...so...

(see exchanges)  ... the modern expression is "WTF?"  ... please dotn insult my intelligence...

and now...



BUT ....on Noelas day,,,  
============181128 

S  = SV

pick the "bones" out of this "exchange"  ...so far...

S....

I told you clearly that RESPECT is a huge thing for me, its one reason I dont have "friends"
because i expect a lot from human being,...to be fair and keep promises, have trust etc... 
I believe in you...but i cannot be responsible for how you react...

... I trusted you, with more about me, than anyone local in 8 years...
and then you arbitrarily chose to stop contact,..whats "resoect" about that?

so its a "I need space" SELFISH americanism....you use!  well i am not perfect but i am happy with who i am

and whaI I have and WILL overcome, 

sometimes i make "mistakes" and If i am mistaken about you, that will make me sad, right now I am sad, because its Noelas birthday and  that you didnt get what i said last night..."Mad" because i could not have the postiive meetings i deserve...... "c'est la vie" 

----I offer you a meeting on saturday, and as stated if you dont, then when some day, I strongly believe you will wake up & wan to find me when the "insticts: (which seem to be clouded by your fear of your family) decide..( sure I understand you were damaged, we all have been, one way or another)
but perhaps i wont be easy to find... and even not want to be found , if I rebuild my walls around "ME" ...

I dont feel its a respect to tell me that you camt decide to meet me, at the weeknd, and leave it all up, like nesrly every other Montenegrinwho cant  bogther to plan their time,  to "spontaneous" ... all that means to me, is that I am no priority for you , with NO RESPECT, and I am worth much more than that... talk is cheap...

Its alnost funny, that you reacted this way..today of all days..
"Slainte"
ChRiS
and good night

----------------

Svetlana Vukcevic
I respect you very much and appreciate friendship offered to me. I really do. If I'm in Podgorica over the weekend we might meet. But, no promise. Let's be spontaneous. 
I'm sorry for causing bitter feelings this day that is important to you. It's not my intention to hurt you in any way. 
S.

----------------

Svetlana, I promise
I respect you more than to suggest a meeting , then cancel without alternative within 12 hours
and
please, believe me, your "instinct" cannot process my ideas, because even with 7 hours, I only showed you a fraction..

but...
if you really do open up your soul - you will find your role.. with me..
i need that respect..that is how I react
C.
____

I.D has problems which I wont discuss any more-  she was never really In the frame   .. "friendship" is something I dont ever offer lightly... she was not with me as a friend nor "anything else,"  s

ure and today I am more sensitive than usual !  "i will do it my way" has already made a wall between us... and I dont like that I feel that the damage done by others is already hurting this chance...

you have no idea just how many times such "obstacles"  have damaged the good things i KNOW could be done..

Svetlana, I promise
I respect you more than to suggest a meeting , then cancel without alternative within 12 hours
and
please, believe me, your "instinct" cannot process my ideas, because even with 7 hours, I only showed you a fraction..

but...
if you really do open up your soul - you will find your role.. with my support and more ..
the "remaining" ideas are burning a hole in my sole now... and I am doing my utmost to be positive ..BECAUSE
i need that respect. - even if you dont ag ree ....thats how I react, and I truly hope will agree to meet me , if not before, on saturday... , I hope not for the last time.., i ask & say "take care"  ..
because I want you to smile, and me too.. 
C.
______________________________

Please, don't take this as disrespect. I will contact you once I'm ready to move on. I really appreciate the fact that you shared your life story with me. You're a dear, kind and strong man. 
I need some time and space for myself now. Have so much to do to improve my life. I'll do it in my way. We agreed yesterday we should be honest to each other. That's why I'm saying all of this.
You see, your friend Izabela mada a mistake ( from my point of view) by talking on English with me all the time. It was unnecessary. She also did't want to share her phone number. Does she really think she is “invisible” on Internet???? I don't like any kind of paranoia. I stay away from “such” things. Understand this?

PS- I like your poem. :)
_____________________________

thats ok for you...but i didnt stop when you left... i wont discuss my new ideas on this mail or over thre net ,,so i will probably explode before we meet again.. i feel you are wrong to stop.. one of the consequences of my coma. is that i have to unload whats in me.. ..and plaese do not send that translation via email to NGO i have an amendment to it.. and i dont want that stuff connecting us until i am sure you are " ready " and it concerns me that you are not..today is a difficult day for me (Noela ) ...and I wanted to dicuss positive things at Hunters without ID , so its not entirely about her leaving... IF we progress then  its also important that you consider my situation when you decide what is good for you.."capishe" :)  ... i agreed with most of what you said last night but i feel you can learn through - and i GUARANTEE no more migrains if you do./.

but i wont chase you, as much as  i am convinced , the first time in 8 years that there is a person from ME to share with..  my dark side will protect me from more pain and its already happened too many times that someone cancelled a meeting after some progress...far too many times...

so, I hope you will relax and think again, because i get a negative vibe from this right now... and i dont want that today.. you see if anyone cancelled a meeting without proposing an alternative, time/date it feels like disrespect , and that contradicts the feelings i had ... >(and do NOT please misunderstand my intent) so I have said a lot now, without saYING ANYTHING :)

... "   

lOOK, i WONT COLLAPSE because you (whom i "universally like")  didnt turn up today =
I had brunch at hunters instead...

so my therapy...  is.....   " a poem for Sweet Lana"

.... Sweet to meet..
a casual way to meet
for once i took note
and this is what i wrote 
(well write)

a name thats connects with a wolf
instantly was not so aloof
amongst the so-called "in crowd"
a message came to me, very loud..

:"connect" a.s.a.p it said..
and i am not talking about "bed"
potential is a much used word
deeper vibes made this word absurd

so at "Berlin" she came (almost) on time
and i have to remember to rhyme..
a coffee then to Dinner
 (at another wolf) noises in my soul, SHOUT , this is a "winner"

I ask too many questions
interrupting her answers too much
ha ha is she going dancing?
I wish I could go there too, & such..

"quantum physics"  wow lets find some balance
if only she could step inside me, she would know this chance
ideas flowing through me , clash with conversation
hey my network is 350k - we could form our own nation!

"Behind the camera" interrupts my mind
whilst in their bathroom, i ask me, "but is she kind?"
and as a plan starts to form
the waiter appears, ah here is the warn (ing)

SEVEN hours has flashed by 
and I mention "social contact"
I wonder does she understand why
females tend to "over=react"

She leaves me outside the house
I watch her car disappear..
i have global, I also know "scouse"
i want to shout - keep "talking to me" my dear, (but i dont)

RESPECT is what i need
a friend in need , is a friend indeed
but i never needed anyone
"girls just want to have fun" ?
:)

slept a couple of hours
too much going on inside
dont want to push, in case this sours
so now , as I write, she starts to hide?

no more stress, no more Migrain
lady, am I struggling in vain?
I must pick you up and show you this...
your prizes may be many, but at least you may know the "ultimate ChRiS"

:)  
ChRiS 181128-14.55h

"

if you can meet me on saturday , December 1 ,  if not before , It would be enough.. and your "instincts" need to know why :)
ChRiS

______________________________________

Svetlana Vukcevic
ID already left Pg? What a woman! So efficient :)
“Private issue” is not an obstruction to our contact of course. However, I need some time to think about your ideas. I really appreciate your intention to help kids in need. 
I told you that I learned to follow my intuition and in this situation it says: STOP (for now) :) So, I'll follow the inner feeling. 
PS- I enjoyed the evening very much. You didn't overload me at all.
Wish you all the best,
S.
_____________________________________

  oh dear S, sounds negative… I replied via i-nations, 
well i came hereto Hunters, instead , because i wanted to talk to you , today, i hope that “private situation” is not an obstruction to our contact.. not only because I wanted to do something positive on Noelas birthday, (today) but i wonder if i “overloaded” you duringSEVEN hours last night …oops! 

Better to have a REd GF? who just likes Footy?

& I do feel positive when we shared time..  anyway PLEASE DO NOT send that translation  by email, i changed my mind about using that method, because i have a different plan , with NO stress or migrain…because of me… please could “fit me in” because I feel my ideas can solve your requirements too, but i dont want to discuss via mail..at the same time, if u dont agree – i wont ask again..am leaving hunters now...to house/HQ 
C

 

Jelena  C, making "Fashion poses" with my t-shirt design, at the first ever Football party-event in the LIverpool Pub. (Bar Montenegro)   she was the first "girl friday"  I had here, BEFORE a USA security employee distracted her..  (last time I saw here ,  2 or 3 years a go she was pushing a baby trolley, with a sad look on her face..


_____________________________________________________

__________________-Noela's  Birthday on 28 November,,, Jacqui on December 1, and Adam on December 16, 


this year i did NOT want to stay in a dark cloud..however "creative" i may be during this time..



NOela at 17..

my estranged little girl is now a young woman?? last seen with her deranged mother in Dublin 2009, ...rumoured to be in central america..  i hope is happy and well..

last time at my house...

BUT =======
how many of my "Fb friends" supported this??  https://www.facebook.com/events/2285267835030626/   ...i have lost everyone I loved , gone or stolen ... seems also I lost anyone who loved me,,,enough 

i am just so used to being a "one way street"  i would die of shock if anyone showed me they  cared in the other direction! :)   

=================================

ha ha ha ; this message is censored; " in opposition boycott to the continual manipulation of you, the sheeple , via this form of social media and PROTEST against the corruption, & pollution of the land , water , air & minds of your children by USA corp and those who distribute its BS! 

... in the last 10 years I have lost count of violations of UDHR articles by those in power, my communications by viral bom bings or hacking by USA corp operatives, c1a and other government agencies or private security goons, whose methods have deleted, interrupted or censored, mails & messages, several phones, 4 computers destroyed by their agencies, who pervert such projects as "couchsurfing" and have infected also the worldwide fan base of Lfc, an insult to my origins... I shall find other means of challenging the "system:

 ..the monster that you feed, in the meantime you are free to post items on my groups, which I shall monitor remotely from time to time , such as https://www.facebook.com/a.k.a.fakebook/ may good be with you... and keep your sense of humour whilst forming your OWN opinions 　 " i cant send this to anyone after :f" h ha ha...

There is 350K ..will we make more than 25 million REdS on REdnET ???? - why not? 

----------------------------

No "gay Paree" this time...

psg billioanaires 2 Lfc- millioanaires 1

every picture..tells a story...

Last time I was in Paris supporting the REdS ... we won the final 1-0 (May 1981) see https://chrismithlog.blogspot.com/2018/11/rednet-bootroom-update-what-ford-and.html

Add caption

Maybe Lfc players took this literally...